Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Restructuring Microsoft

According to reports, Microsoft will unveil its new restructuring on Thursday.

The one-time tech leader is looking to change its form into something better suited to today's environment. But just what will those changes entail?

I'm thinking they'll split into two major division: Stuff That Works and Stuff That's Crap.

The Stuff That Works will continue to support the Xbox 360, the Microsoft Mouse, Microsoft Surface Pro, and Microsoft Security Essentials.

The Stuff That's Crap division will encompass Microsoft Windows, Microsoft Surface RT, Xbox One, and just about everything else.

Products and services like Microsoft office, which are currently slated for the Stuff That's Crap division could wind up in Stuff That Works, but that's still uncertain.

Now, will Microsoft really do this? Well, they already have. At least, that's how I've thought of there stuff for years. On Thursday, they have the chance to make it official.

Will they? Probably not.

Will the restructuring work? Are you kidding? The people that brought you Clippy, Microsoft Bob, the Zune, and the Ken? What could possibly go wrong?

Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Rocket Man

For no reason whatsoever, ladies and gentlemen, Mr. William Shatner:

[Source: YouTube]

Friday, July 5, 2013

Trusted Friend


[Marimba ringtone plays]


Hello?


Hey. It's me.


Who is this?


Me. Or you. From your past.


Um, what do you want?


Yeah, I wanted to call you and tell you it's a bad idea.

Thursday, July 4, 2013

Independence Day 2013

IN CONGRESS, July 4, 1776.
The unanimous Declaration of the thirteen united States of America,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.--That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness. Prudence, indeed, will dictate that Governments long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that mankind are more disposed to suffer, while evils are sufferable, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off such Government, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of these Colonies; and such is now the necessity which constrains them to alter their former Systems of Government. The history of the present King of Great Britain is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over these States. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.
  • He has refused his Assent to Laws, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.
  • He has forbidden his Governors to pass Laws of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.
  • He has refused to pass other Laws for the accommodation of large districts of people, unless those people would relinquish the right of Representation in the Legislature, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.
  • He has called together legislative bodies at places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of their public Records, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them into compliance with his measures.
  • He has dissolved Representative Houses repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the people.
  • He has refused for a long time, after such dissolutions, to cause others to be elected; whereby the Legislative powers, incapable of Annihilation, have returned to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of invasion from without, and convulsions within.
  • He has endeavoured to prevent the population of these States; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of Foreigners; refusing to pass others to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new Appropriations of Lands.
  • He has obstructed the Administration of Justice, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing Judiciary powers.
  • He has made Judges dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount and payment of their salaries.
  • He has erected a multitude of New Offices, and sent hither swarms of Officers to harrass our people, and eat out their substance.
  • He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.
  • He has affected to render the Military independent of and superior to the Civil power.
  • He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation:
    • For Quartering large bodies of armed troops among us:
    • For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any Murders which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:
    • For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the world:
    • For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent:
    • For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of Trial by Jury:
    • For transporting us beyond Seas to be tried for pretended offences
    • For abolishing the free System of English Laws in a neighbouring Province, establishing therein an Arbitrary government, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into these Colonies:
    • For taking away our Charters, abolishing our most valuable Laws, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our Governments:
    • For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.
  • He has abdicated Government here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.
  • He has plundered our seas, ravaged our Coasts, burnt our towns, and destroyed the lives of our people.
  • He is at this time transporting large Armies of foreign Mercenaries to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized nation.
  • He has constrained our fellow Citizens taken Captive on the high Seas to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to fall themselves by their Hands.
  • He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of our frontiers, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare, is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.
In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated Petitions have been answered only by repeated injury. A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our Brittish brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable jurisdiction over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our emigration and settlement here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of mankind, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of the united States of America, in General Congress, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name, and by Authority of the good People of these Colonies, solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States; that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to the British Crown, and that all political connection between them and the State of Great Britain, is and ought to be totally dissolved; and that as Free and Independent States, they have full Power to levy War, conclude Peace, contract Alliances, establish Commerce, and to do all other Acts and Things which Independent States may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine Providence, we mutually pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.

Thursday, May 30, 2013

The check's in the mail ... and other lies

Comrade Michelle gives a powerful speech.

Have you written your check to FLOTUS yet? She wants your money, you know.

At a fundraiser for Democrat Senate candidate Ed Markey, she told the crowd, "Keep writing those checks. And if you haven’t maxed out, max out!"

And she's right. Don't be selfish with the money the government lets you keep. What were you going to do with it? Buy food? Braces for the kid? Birthday presents? That's just selfish.

You need to be sending your money to the Democrats. And you need to blame the Republicans for not allowing the government to keep more of your paycheck. Sure, the GOP has gone along with some of the tax and spend policies of the Democrats, but nowhere near enough. I mean, you still have money left, right?

Well, you shouldn't. So, do the right thing. Send the money to the Democrats. Max out.

After all, it'll only hurt for a little while (NSFW link).

Monday, May 27, 2013

Memorial Day 2013

Tomb of the Unknowns, Arlington National Cemetery. Photo by Department of Defense
Tomb of the Unknowns, Arlington National Cemetery. Photo by Department of Defense
Remember those that gave all for you.

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Hey, Francis! I got somebody I'd like you to meet.

Image: The Mirror
Some people appear to getting their panties in a wad over the pope laying hands on some guy and praying. They're saying he performed an exorcism on the guy right there in line at St. Peter's Square.

Here's the video:

[Source: YouTube]

Now, it looks to me like he did exactly what I said in the opening sentence: he laid hands on a fellow and offered a prayer. Heck, I've seen Baptists do that, so I'm certainly not surprised when the Bishop of Rome does it.

But, some folks are going all gaga over it, calling it an exorcism. And, heck, maybe it was.

If it was, and Pope Francis can do that (and I'm not doubting it), I wonder if maybe he'll do it again sometime.

I suggest his next visit to Washington, DC, would be a great time. So, in case the head of the Roman Catholic Church is reading this, here's what to do:
  • From Reagan National, have the driver take the George Washington Parkway to I-395 North.
  • Take the US-1 exit, merging onto US-1/14th Street.
  • Left on Madison.
  • Right on 15th NW.
  • Left onto E Street/Pennsylvania Avenue (you'll need to show ID, it's restricted).
  • Take the first right.
  • Ask for Barack.
I wish you much success!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Shocked!

Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images
I was shocked -- Shocked! -- to learn that the chairman of the Democrat party in Georgia, an attorney named Mike Belon, is being disciplined by the State Bar.

Now, it's only a Review Board Reprimand, which means no fine or suspension. I'm not sure if it even comes with a "don't do that again." What did he do? Well, according to WAOK radio:
The client had claimed Berlon failed to file paperwork as requested and paid an investigator without permission.

Berlon tells The Associated Press he takes responsibility for the miscommunication with the client on legal strategy.
So, a Democrat is supposed to be working for someone, but has no idea what the client wants, and it ends up costing the client more?

Heck, he's presidential material. If you consider Obama presidential.

Leash law

Was doing laundry Sunday. Of course, that meant a trip to the laundromat, which meant ... Laundromat People.

Now, I fully realize that I'm now one of the Laundromat People, but that just makes me more qualified than others to comment on them.

Let me set the stage. The TV is on De Pelicula, and it's showing a movie featuring masked Mexican wrestlers, girls in short shorts, and double-south-of-the-border rejects from The Final Sacrifice -- complete with hockey hair.

Then, there's the the kid on a leash running around. Little girl, three years old maybe, that was there with two women (possibly a mother and grandmother, but not sure). This isn't a debate about putting kids on a leash. I'll let Erick Erickson deal with that. No, I want to use the kid to make a point.

Now, if you weren't paying attention, let me say the key part of this again: there's a kid on a leash running around.

Think about that. If she's on a leash, how is she running around? No, she's not dragging the leash behind her. There's a hand firmly attached to the leash.

No, she's not leading the mother around. She's carrying her own leash.

And that's the problem with the government. We know it needs a leash, but we let it carry its own leash. And, it runs wild.

So, what do we do about it? The government, I mean. Do we grab the leash and hope it doesn't bite us? (Think: IRS.)

Do we try to cage it?

What do we do about it? 'Cause I got the feeling it's sizing us up for something a little more restrictive than a leash.

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Here's your sign

KRQE-TV/YouTube Screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CN
Read an article earlier this month about a worker at an Intel plant that sued over a "kick me" sign others placed on his back. The lawsuit wasn't just because of the sign, but because people at work actually kicked him. You can go read about it if you want.

The thing is, it gave me an idea. What if somebody put a sign on Obama's back?

Now, I don't know if he'd sue, but I'd be willing to take that chance. But would you?

If you had the chance to put a sign on Obama's back, would you? And, if so, what would it say?